Step 2. Came to believe…

Step 2 reads, ‘Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.’  This is a conclusion based on the admission of our powerlessness over alcohol. We all, near the end of our drinking careers have tried numerous times to do something to control our drinking and failed with every attempt. Someone or something greater than ourselves would need to be relied upon for help; we could not do it on our own!

The body’s allergy to alcohol condemned us to continue drinking once we started because of the physical craving. If the physical allergy and craving were the only problem; the solution would be not to start drinking. The problem with us alcoholics is that we also have an obsession of the mind. The obsession of the mind tells us: I’m not alcoholic; I may drink too much but, its’s not a problem; one drink won’t hurt; this time it will be different; if you had my problems, you’d drink too; I’m only having one; just a couple, no more; just need something to settle my nerves; and many others.

There are different types of obsessions, some seem to appear from out of nowhere, others recur often throughout the day, they always seem to appear when we are most vulnerable. We often give into the obsession without a fight; but the problem is the longer an alcoholic goes without alcohol the worse they feel. Usually sooner, rather than later, us alcoholics seek relief-‘just one drink;’ and off we go again!

So we alcoholics have an obsession of the mind, but, are we insane? Sanity is defined as wholeness of mind, the ability to see the truth. As alcoholics we sadly lacked the ability to see the truth. One maxim in AA is that, ‘insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting different results.’ Another way to consider it is to think of a jar of marbles containing 100 marbles. Next to it is another jar with 97 marbles. They look identical, but one is missing 3 marbles. Insanity does not mean we’ve lost all our marble, just that all our marbles are not there.

As alcoholics we are unable to see the truth about alcohol and our drinking and its affect on our lives. We are unable to see the truth even after it has been repeatedly been shown to us, time and again. Until the obsession is removed we will deny any serious problem with drinking or even the unmanageability it causes us, we are in denial of reality where alcohol and our drinking is concerned.

“I know, if I have an obsession that cause me to drink, I’ll just use my ‘willpower!'” Nice try! But ‘willpower’ won’t work against an obsession. An ‘obsession’ is an insane idea that overcomes all other ideas; even when there is plenty of evidence to the contrary. The obsession that someday, somehow an alcoholic will control his drinking is an insane idea. The alcoholic will believe the insane idea, that controlled drinking  is possible, sometimes to death. When it comes to overpowering the insane idea with a sane idea, the willpower of the individual is useless.

If we are to be helped this Power greater than ourselves must be able and willing to remove our obsession and restore our minds to sanity, at least as it relates to alcohol and our alcoholism. With the obsession removed, the desire to drink will be gone!

Yesterday, Tomorrow, & Today

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance;

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.

That leaves only today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day.

It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities –yesterday and tomorrow -that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives us mad, it is remorse or bitterness over something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live one day at a time.

Author Unknown

AA is NOT a Self-Help Program

There seems to be some confusion especially by people outside AA, but, also inside AA, usually by newcomers, that AA is a Self-help program. Nothing could be farther from the truth. AA is a self-focused program, we AAs do need to apply the 12 steps and live the program of Alcoholics Anonymous on a daily basis. Still, with few exceptions, AAs do not practice the steps in isolation. AA members attend fellowship meetings of AA to discuss the 12 step program of AA, and carry the message to others.

Bill Wilson, one of our founding members, found himself newly sober after applying principles of the Oxford Group Movement. Bill tried in vain for many months to sober up other practicing alcoholics. He complained to his wife Lois about being unable to get anyone else sober. Bill’s wife pointed out that while he had not been able to sober up another alcoholic, he himself had remained sober.

Again while in Akron, Ohio on a failed business venture, Bill found himself almost broke, and disparaged and discouraged. In the hotel he considered whether to spend his remaining funds in the bar. Bill chose to instead find another alcoholic to work with, since doing so had kept him sober before. Referring to a church directory in the hotel lobby Bill contacted a minister familiar with the Oxford Group.

The minister referred Bill to Henrietta Sieberling; arrangements were made to meet with Dr Bob Smith the following day. The rest as they say is history. Bill W successfully carried the message to Dr Bob. Both became founders of AA.

Had Bill kept his sobriety and not tried to carry the message to Dr Bob, Alcoholics Anonymous would never have been founded. Our 12th step reads: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60, emphasis added)

Carrying the message of recovery to another alcoholic; that through the acquiring of a spiritual awakening as a result of practicing the Twelve Steps of AA, one can live sober and free of alcohol. That is, once having become sober ourselves, we have an obligation to carry the message of recovery from alcoholism to those that want to recover.

Some have called AA a ‘selfish’ program; certainly we need to work our program to remain sober, but,  for Alcoholics Anonymous to remain a vital, living organization, individual AAs need to take the hand of those still suffering alcoholics that reach out to us. In Alcoholics Anonymous is the maxim that ‘we cannot keep it (sobriety,) unless we give it away.’  The worst thing that an AA can do is to fail to carry the message of recovery to an alcoholic reaching out for help, second worst is to interfere with another’s recovery.

Making 12 step calls and sponsorship are major ways we in AA carry the message and share the program of recovery with and help others. In the chapter ‘Working With Others,’ on page 97, our book states: “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be.” Page 102 states: “Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.”

Meetings are often closed with a reading from chapter 11, ‘A Vision for You,’ page 164: “Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

May God bless you and keep you—until then.”

Doing ‘Good’ Is Often The Enemy Of Doing The ‘Best’*

The want to do ‘good is often the enemy of doing the ‘best.’ One will often settle for doing ‘good,’ especially if it is in line with our ‘wants.’ This is often times done without further consideration for what may be coin the ‘best,’ because doing the ‘best’ is in conflict with our ‘wants,’ even if it meets another’s ‘need.’

Sometimes doing the ‘best’ course is considered, then discarded, because it does not meet our ‘wants.’ This is especially true of written procedure. It often ‘looks good,’ that is, until it is implemented; suddenly the ‘good’ choice isn’t so ‘good,’ and the discarded choice clearly the ‘best’ choice when put into action.

Complacency, inconsideration, and indifference seem to be the chief reasons for overlooking the ‘best’ course of action. Experience would seem to come into play to choose the ‘best’ solution, but, this is often not the case, the three previously listed factors seem to be the mitigating traits.

‘Needs,’ should alway over-rule ‘wants.’ Doing ‘good’ usually amounts to choosing a softer, easier way, to meet our ‘wants’ rather than doing our ‘best’ to meet another’s ‘needs.’ Perhaps before deciding to choose a ‘good’ course, we should consider whether that choice is chosen to meet our ‘wants’ and is selfish, or is the ‘best’ way to meet another’s ‘need,’ and therefore selfless.

We should also be on guard for times when we choose to wait to act with the excuse that we are looking to do the ‘best.’ To delay or act not al all until a perfect or ‘best’ solution is found is as bad as doing ‘good’ when a ‘best’ choice is available. This is a way of procrastination through perfection. Choosing not to act will sometimes imperil both ourselves and the other.

In the final analysis: Is it selfish? or selfless? Is it ‘best’ to delay? or merely perfectionistic procrastination? Does it meet our ‘wants.?’ or another’s ‘needs.’

 *‘The good’, runs the old aphorism, ‘is the enemy of the best.’

Nowhere is this better exemplified than in connection with self-deceit.

[1939 R. A. Habas Morals for Moderns vii.]

 *’The good is often the enemy of the best.’ (Bill W.)

Alcoholics Anonymous-Book, Program, Movement, and Fellowship

It usually takes awhile for some new to AA to realize that Alcoholics Anonymous is actually four different entities. The first is the book Alcoholics Anonymous. This was the first time the name Alcoholics Anonymous was used. The steps and the program of recovery described in the book, came to be known as the AA program. As Alcoholics Anonymous through the spread of the book, newspaper and magazine articles, and radio broadcasts became known, the alcoholism recovery movement became known as Alcoholics Anonymous Movement. Finally there is the fellowship of AA that exists through its meetings and conferences.

There is usually confusion by the newcomer to Alcoholics Anonymous. There exists the assumption that one can recover by merely attending the fellowship meetings. It is at the meetings where sober social contacts are made, sponsors found, service first performed, and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is discussed and studied.

While some members can stay sober for long periods of time by attending meetings alone, recovery from alcoholism does not begin until one starts working and applying the 12 steps of recovery in one’s life. Others are not so lucky, meetings are of little avail for very long, they end up drinking and wonder, why?

Problem with only attending meetings and not working the 12 step program of AA is boredom. There is the attitude after a period of time, ‘I’ve heard it all,’ the ‘Big Book Thumpers’ and ‘Program Pushers’ are too fanatical!  ‘I don’t need this, I can stay sober on my own, I’m out of here!’

Problem is, if you are not working the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous described in the book, you are not recovering, you are stagnating! In AA to stagnate is to go backwards. There is a difference between being sober by practicing the 12 step program of recovery, and being in a dry drunk, by just not drinking.

The Forward to the first edition states: “To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.” (Alcoholics Anonymous)

In the Dr’s Opinion it states: “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience  the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.” (emphasis added)

If you are merely not drinking, you are experiencing a dry drunk, defined in bold print above. Restlessness, irritability, and discontentment, are symptoms experienced before a relapse. If you are dry as opposed to being sober, you are suffering from untreated alcoholism. The remedy is to start working and practicing the 12 steps of recover in our daily life. The best way to work your way through the steps is through  work with a sponsor that has successfully lived the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and has recovered (had a spiritual awakening/experience.)

It is The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous described in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, that has helped millions of others recover from alcoholism. You are free to choose your own path and work your own program at your own peril. In any case AA will always be there to welcome you back.

Once again the Movement Alcoholics Anonymous has a textbook, Alcoholics Anonymous, describing the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program of recovery; members attend Alcoholics Anonymous Fellowship meetings to establish sober social contacts, find an AA Sponsor, do AA Service work, discuss and study the AA 12 step program of recovery.

Responsibility to the Suffering Alcoholic

I am Responsible. 

When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,

I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. 

And for that:  I am responsible.

It was written for the 1965 A.A. International Convention in Toronto. In an article titled, ‘How I am Responsible became a part of A.A.’, from the GSO newsletter, Box 4-5-9. The article identifies former AA trustee, Al S. as the author of the Responsibility Statement. Copyright AAWS, used with permission. From FAQ <www.aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=287#once>on AA website.

Don’t ever forget what it is like to be new in AA! When someone comes to your meeting and expresses the they are a suffering alcoholic; they become the most important person in the room. Usually that person is brand new to AA, other times it is someone with some sober time that is in danger of relapse. Most meetings have ways to meet this contingency:

1. The meeting puts aside the normal format and deals with the suffering alcoholic.

2. The chairperson advises those attending that the meeting will continue on topic as normal and encourages members to address the problem of the suffering alcoholic when it their turn to speak in addition to commenting on the topic.

3. Breaks the meeting up into two groups, those that wish to help the suffering AA meet in another area; the regular meeting continues.

These are the three main ways to deal with the newcomer or suffering AA. There are two other options that should never even be considered, but do sometimes occur:

a. Announce that they will be talked to by those interested after the meeting.

b. Worst option; do nothing and continue with the meeting.

Choice ‘a’ is not a good choice because in most meetings there is a collective wisdom to be drawn upon that won’t be there as AAs leave to go their separate ways. It is also a nonverbal way of stating that ‘you are not important to us, deal with it yourself.’ Choice ‘b’ shouts nonverbally, ‘you are not important, sit down and shut up.’

We should never forget that ‘but for the grace of God,’ we could be in the same position. Those of us that have already had a spiritual awakening/experience must not be complacent and run with our sobriety and leave those still striving to achieve that which we already have to fend for themselves. Our conscience must be clear that we have done our best for those that reach out to us for help.

Group Service Positions

A Group or Home Group is composed of members of a meeting that consider that meeting to be the one special meeting that they prefer to attend and at which they feel most at home. It is also the meeting where one’s vote concerning Group Conscience is taken. A person may be an AA member if they say so, but to be a Group member one must be invested in the Group i.e. regularly attend, and serve the group. Types of Group Service listed below:

1. Greeter: Greets people entering the meeting room and welcomes them.

2. Set-up, Clean-up: These members serve helping to make the meeting place well set-up and well maintained.

3. Coffee Maker: Makes sure coffee is ready when the meeting starts and doesn’t run-out during the meeting.

4. Chairperson: Conducts the meeting.

5. Treasurer: Deposits meeting collection for the group, pays bills, keeps tract of expenditures, reports at business meeting.

6. Secretary: Take the minutes of the business meeting.

7. Group Service Representative (GSR): Represents the Group Conscience at the District level. Usually acts as chairperson at business meetings.

8. Steering Committee Member (SCM): Where a place has many meetings, each Group may be represented by a SCM, the SCMs would meet, discuss and resolve common issues and report to the GSR, the GSR would then represent the Conscience of all the meetings at a particular place. The GSR would in effect represent an ‘Umbrella Group,’ i.e. the meetings at 123 Backdoor Place.

Each Group sets suggested guidelines for each position. Some only need the willingness of the person, numbers 1, 2, and 3. The other positions may have suggested lengths of sobriety to hold the position. Lengths of sobriety for various positions vary from Group to Group.

Meeting Formats

A Meeting Format is an outline or guideline for conducting a meeting. Format for a meeting dependent upon the formality of the meeting, informal meetings have less structure than formal meetings,  location of meeting also makes a difference, different regions even of the same country conduct meetings differently. One thing that never changes: an alcoholic is always welcome at AA meetings. AA members always feel at home wherever there are AA meeting.

As a general rule a chairperson is in charge of the meeting and calls it to order, followed by an opening prayer, moment of silence, reading of the AA Preamble, reading from the Big Book (usually a portion of Chapter 5, How It Works,) introductions, announcements, topic of discussion, pass the basket, closing reading and or prayer.

In smaller meetings everyone in turn gets a chance to speak without limit or pass. In larger meetings members are limited to the time they may speak before being cut-off. Alternatives in large meetings include splitting-up into smaller groups or being called upon by the chairperson to speak. A Popcorn meeting is one where one speaks if one has something to say, in no particular order.

Go to meetings…

Going to meetings is where you’ll find the AA fellowship. At meetings you’ll establish new social contacts, get a sponsor, and probably do your first service work; you’ll also learn about AA and recovery from alcoholism. People at AA meetings are introduced by first name and last initial, e.g. Bill W. So, just what types of meetings are there? Below are listed the main types of meeting you’re likely to encounter.

Open meetings: Open for all to attend, AAs, friends, parents, and spouses of AAs, sober-never-drank-just-curious types, nursing students, social workers, psychology students. These can be any type of AA meeting, if you are worried about your anonymity, you’ll probably want to avoid these if many non-recovering people attend these meetings. Non AA or non-recovering people are not invested in remaining anonymous, or keeping your anonymity.

Closed meetings: These meeting are open only to alcoholics. These can be any type of AA meeting. People that attend these meeting are invested in preserving their and others anonymity.

Open Speaker Meeting: These are a particularly popular type of open meeting. Only the speaker reveals that they are alcoholic. The speaker is usually introduced by first name and last initial e.g. Mark R. The speaker relates their story sharing experience, strength, and hope; what it was like, what happened, what it is like now. Some meetings have a brief question and answer period after the speaker finishes their story.

Big Book meeting: These meetings use the book Alcoholics Anonymous-the basic text of AA, as their guide through the steps. These meetings may or may not read the personal stories in the back of book. The main text, the first 164 pages contain the program of recovery of Alcoholics  Anonymous; it is this part that is usually studied in detail.

Step meetings: These meeting study the 12 steps in order. Some meetings use the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions as a study source for the steps. Many meetings that use the 12X12 set aside one meeting a month to study a tradition.

Other AA Literature meetings: These meetings use Daily Reflections, As Bill Sees It, Living Sober, Came to Believe, or Grapevine, as a topic source for discussion.

Discussion meeting: These meetings vary in how the topic is chosen; some have a standard topic list to choose from, some allow the chairperson to select the topic, still others ask for a topic suggestion from among those present at the meeting.

What type of meeting is the best to attend? The best type meeting to attend is the one you’ll continue to attend regularly. Many members attend more than one type of meeting weekly. Many also have a favorite meeting that they make their ‘Home Group.’ This is the meeting that they never miss, and in which  they hold a group or service position.

‘We…’

Upon arriving to AA we are greeted with the ‘We…’ of the first step. ‘We’ are not alone, we are in the same boat as others, suffering from the same disease of mind and body. That ‘We…’ also signifies the collective wisdom of the membership of AA. The steps are the result of the collective experience and wisdom. ‘We’ can feel at home anywhere in AA world wide. Home for us is where AA is. Want to find someplace where  you’ll be understood? Find an AA meeting place. “Here are the steps WE took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: 1. WE… (Alcoholics Anonymous page 59 emphasis added) There is a certain comfort knowing that others that have taken these steps have successfully recovered from alcoholism.

Even those of us who are rebels must admit to a certain security in knowing that if our way doesn’t work, there is always the  Big Book to fall back on. Those of us that have survived trying it our own way were grateful for the fail-safe of the 12 step program in the Big Book. ‘WE’ trudge the path taken by others before us. The program of the Big Book being passed on by sponsors, traced all the way back to Bill W and Dr Bob. ‘We’ are not and need not ever be alone.